Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Friendship...

Well, I finally heard back from my friend. I'm not really sure how I feel right now. Let's just say her reaction didn't immediately make me feel better. She did apologize, but she also gave some excuses and basically told me that she didn't have time/energy to put much more into our friendship (although she really values the time we spent together in grad school and the support I gave to her in her time of need).

I don't know. I think I need some more time to process... I still feel much of the hurt and bitterness I felt before. I don't know if it is something I can work through and be friends with her, or if it is just too much for me. I don't know.

7 comments:

DC said...

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, you were obviously there for your friend and she did not reciprocate; however, she is in a different situation than you were at the time. She has a family and, once you have a family, your priorities change (or so I've been told). Still, friendship is definitely a two-way street and your hurt feelings are completely understandable.

Friendships ebb and flow and most friends aren't very good at being supportive 100% of the time. If you find someone who is, hold on tight. Good luck to you! :)

Ann said...

It's really hard for me when I realize that I'm putting more energy into a friendship than my friend is. There have been countless times when I have taken a step back and waited for my friend to contact me and make an effort, only to realize that she will never make that effort. That's really painful.

Jen said...

Praying for you for wisdom as you decide how to proceed!

Dreams Come True said...

I'm just here from NCLM, and would like to start with saying congratulations on your pregnancy, and very active little one! I hope he's turned, and stops trying to kick a hole through your cervix!

Secondly, I'm sorry about your friend. I've had situations similar, and it hurts to know that someone you've been there for, suddenly doens't have the time or energy to return the favor.

kcmarie122 said...

That stinks. I'm sorry she didn't have a better response. I can't imagine not being there for someone who was there for me in a time of need.

Sometimes it is just necessary to let a friend go though. There's nothing wrong with that! It's not fun, but sometimes it's necessary. You don't want to feel bitter and hurt everytime you call or write her.

Again, that just really stinks!

Candid Engineer said...

I have to say, my relationships with several of my friends have changed dramatically when they have children (whether long-distance or local). Esp. when long-distance, because the mother has to find the time to talk on the phone and call people, and usually she is exhausted. This has been hard for me to accept at times, but I try to keep in mind that my friend's behavior is not a reflection of her feelings for me; it is merely a reflection of her stage of life and other responsibilities.

Many congratulations to you on your pregnancy. Best wishes thru NCLM! Pretty soon, you won't want to talk on the phone, either. :o)

Queenie. . . said...

All of the other commentors seem to be much nicer than me. I think your "friend" is really rotten, and motherhood has nothing to do with it. You did a lot for her IN THE SAME SITUATION. She knew damn well just how bad things were for you, having been there herself. Unless, maybe, she is just the one woman I've ever met for whom infertility was no big deal, and maybe she thinks it was no big deal for you?

Sometimes, you just have to leave people behind, because you realize that they don't add to your life. She sounds like a prime candidate. Some people are takers, not givers, and who needs that in their life!

I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed, and I'm thrilled for you that you are at 22 weeks. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!