Sunday, September 9, 2007

I'm Still Alive

Sorry for the lack of entries. I have been busy and stressed, but I have also not really had anything to say. I've felt myself shutting down lately, but not necessarily depressed. I guess I've just been feeling quiet. My husband has been going through a hard time (because of IF stuff and other personal stuff, in addition to looking for work, which is not going well). I have been really focused on helping him. I don't like seeing him suffer. Caring for him has given me something else to worry about so I haven't been as obsessed with IF stuff.

But, since IF is in my body it eventually becomes impossible to ignore. I had some "shooting" cramps on 8dpo, which I couldn't help but wonder if it was implantation... But then, on 11dpo I dutifully got the pre-AF cramps I always get a few days before my period so I gave up hope. The inevitable was coming. The cramps came every day... 11dpo, 12dpo, 13dpo, 14dpo. Wait, did I just say 14 dpo? My longest luteal phase ever was 13 days and here it is at the end of day 14 and the TP is still white as snow. I have some internet cheapy tests so if AF doesn't come in the night I am testing tomorrow morning.

I still don't hold out much hope. My bbs aren't sore (although, I might use the word sensitive to describe them). And, there are the cramps that feel just like every month. It's possible that the progesterone I've been taking has extended my luteal phase some more. That would be good because I tend to have short luteal phases when left to my own devises. I do have an appointment with the doc on Tuesday morning. I originally made the appointment because I thought that this was the second failed cycle since my doc said try a couple more months with opks to track my ovulation. This cycle I did not get a clear surge on the opk so, in case I'm not ovulating properly, I wanted to have an appointment set up. The tiny bit of hope thought that I could use the appointment for a beta if AF happened to stay away. I will probably end up using the apt to discuss endo treatment options.

Don't you love how I always seem to end on a positive...?


Fertilize Me said...

Oh good luck at the dr appointment. I hope there is lots of good news to share

Anonymous said...

Oh honey, I feel you! Last month I was so excited b/c AF was so late but I never "felt" PG either. Of course, I wasn't, but maybe your cramps are a different sign. I've heard a lot of ladies say they feel "crampy" but still get BFP's. I'm holding out hope for you.