I'm sorry. I'm going to be the annyoing optimistic person and say that maybe it's too early...late implantation...all that optimistic stuff. But I mean it!
My name is Fat Girl and I am obese. I have recently come to realize this and have decided to do something about it. This blog will chronicle my experiences as I journey toward a skinny version of me.
I wish people wouldn't assume that if you want to have a baby all you have to do is have sex a few times (at most) and it will happen. I wish people didn't feel like they are entitled to ask me if I am planning on having children (a very personal question, in my opinion) at the first introduction. I wish people could respond with something other than "you can always adopt" upon learning that I struggle with infertility. It would be nice if they could also refrain from telling me stories about people who struggled for 5, 6, 7...12 years before they finally had a baby. Sometimes our bodies don't do what we want them to do. Thinking that I will probably have to struggle with this for another 10+ years does not help me feel better.
Fertility History (Or, Our Life at the Doctor's Office)
9/30/08 Son is born healthy after 36 hours of labor!! =)
6/6/08 22weeks and all looks good!
1/28/08 BFP--cautiously optimistic
1/4/08 Early M/C at 4w3d
9/16/07 Miscarriage
9/11/07 BFP!!
Aug 07 Positive OPK! then (of course) BFN
July 07 boogie marathons with OPKs for the next few months - cycles FINALLY seem stable
July 07 DH diagnosed with varicocele, but has "normal" sperm (surprise!) - what a difference a lab and doctor make! No surgery necessary: BFN
June 07 2nd and 3rd SA tests for DH at an endrology lab: BFN
May 07 Apt with 3rd urologist (specialist)... more tests: BFN
May 07 Apt with 2nd urologist, referred to specialist
April 07 Start Accupuncture for endo (go for 12 visits) - seemed to help with pain control, hopefully got rid of endo too: BFN
Mar 07 Apt with crap urologist... NOT returning - recommended surgery without confirming diagnosis!
Mar 07 DH's 1st SA at a non-specialty lab - very low motility
Mar 07 Tired of BFNs: Laparoscopy, Hysteroscopy, and Chromotubation - Diagnosis: Stage 4 endo on right side around ureter (too dangerous to operate without specialist)... did remove endo from uterus. Good news: tubes clear and no cysts on ovaries (although ovaries still enlarged)
Nov 06 Dianosed with PCOS - start taking Metformin: still all cycles = BFN
June 06 Move across the country: have only seen BFNs
Mar 06 Started actively TTC: BFN
Dec 05 Married my Soul Mate!
Oct 05 Diagnosed with low progesterone levels - started on Progesterone during LP to help short LP and break through bleeding in middle of cycle
Sept 05 Series of blood tests in attempt to diagnose crazy cycles
Spring 04 Start charting cycles (trying to diagnose why so crazy: some long, some short, heavy bleeding, some annovulatory cycles)
What Does that Mean?
2WW = Two Week Wait, the weeks after ovulation and before menses
AF = Aunt Flo (menses)
B/W = Bloodwork
BBT = Basal Body Temperature
BD = Baby Dance
Beta = Blood pregnancy test to check the amount of HCG (pregnancy hormone)
7 comments:
I am so sorry for you ((((hug))))
I did your tag by the way
http://leighloveslists.blogspot.com/2007/12/7-random-things-to-end-off-2007.html
Total stranger here who completely understands. I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))
sending you hug for having to look at a negative! I am so sorry
I'm sorry. I'm going to be the annyoing optimistic person and say that maybe it's too early...late implantation...all that optimistic stuff. But I mean it!
(((hugs)))
I'm with A, it's not over till the fat hag sings! Wishing and praying for you!
I NEVER GIVE UP UNTIL 13 DPO.
But I understand why you would feel didappointed. Still hoping for you. . .
I'm hoping for you too!
and for the record 'weird twinges' are pregnancy symtoms.
I wish you a wonderful and REFRESHING new year my dear.
((HUGS))!
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