My first concrete decision, given our current circumstances, is that I NEED to be in spiritual direction. I have thought I "should" be for a while, but I have been putting it off. The time has come where I feel it's imperative. A few months ago I had a preliminary meeting with a Carmelite priest, but I think I really need to meet with a woman. I got a recommendation from a good friend for a woman in our parish who directs. I plan on calling her tomorrow. As an added bonus, this woman is married, has adopted a child, and knows what it's like to not be able to have children. I think she will be able to help me cope with our situation. I am looking forward to having someone who can help me sort through everything. Hubby and I had a good talk yesterday, which was very helpful, but he can't help me figure out my identity issues (woman stuff...). Also, his relationship with God is different than mine. Therefore, we have some different spiritual needs. I think spiritual direction will help me with my specific journey.