Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fessin Up

** P-Word Mentioned **

First, I'm sorry I am posting yet another post about the P-Word. I am very obsessed lately and find it difficult to think about much else. I'm not really sure if it's appropriate for me to apologize, but I am very conscious of how painful it is for other IFers to read about the P-Word when they are still struggling. For that, I really am sorry. I wish I could ease the pain for everyone.

Well, I guess the big question on my mind is, "When should I fess up and tell people I'm pg?" ATM only a few people know: 1 friend, my spiritual director, my supervisor (an IF sister), and the person who will fill in for me while I'm on maternity leave. Hubby has only told 1 friend. We had originally said that we would tell our parents after the u/s. I am still feeling hesitant and wanting to keep quiet. I know the doc said that the baby was on track and I shouldn't worry. However, I still can't get it out of my head that the baby was measuring 5 days smaller than I expected. I think I might try to talk to my doc on the phone tomorrow to get some reassurance from him. Supposedly, I will be 7w tomorrow... However, my baby is only measuring (apparently) 6w2d tomorrow (assuming baby grew the correct amount over the last 2 days). I would be feeling a lot more confident if the baby had measured within a day of 6w5d or had measured ahead of schedule. I don't want to tell everyone just to have to turn around and tell them I m/c'd again. Hubby wants to tell his parents and friends when we go to visit next weekend. I supposedly will be 8w (or, 7w2d?) at that point. My instinct says not to tell anyone until the 2nd trimester. For sure I don't plan on telling anyone else at church/work until the second trimester. However, what do I do about family and friends? I know hubby's step dad wants to take us out to sushi and he knows I love sushi. How do I get out of that one??

So, those are the questions rolling around in my head. Please feel free to weigh in with comments!! I think I might try to put up a poll too, if I can figure out how... Thanks for the advice.

P.S. Spellcheck is working again! Yeah!

P.P.S. Grrrrr... Blogger template layout isn't working properly and it won't let me add a new element. =( I will try to add the poll again later.


Fertilize Me said...

go with your gut - the growth could be off from ovulation/implantation dates and if your dr isn't worried - then you dont lose too much sleep over it. Easier said then done - coming from the most neurptoc p-word lady

you tell people when you feel most comfortable. I always said that i would not tell until the second trimester - i started telling at almost 10 weeks. I needed/wanted prayer and support and figured either way- i would need support physically and emotional. You do what is best for you

allyouwhohope said...

I can't really comment on when to tell people since I've never been in that situation, but I just want to say that I LOVE reading about your pregnancy. I don't know if other IFers agree, but I think hearing about women dealing with infertility who have gotten pregnant is such an inspiration. So thanks for sharing!!

A said...

I'm with Farah...tell when you feel comfortable. As far as getting out of clue about that one. Everyone always seems to assume we're pregnant whenever we so much as sneeze. You could say your stomach is bothering you (then if asked if pregnant, "just because I'm sick to my stomach means I'm pregnant? do I look pregnant?"

As far as p-word definitely shouldn't apologize. This is your blog! You could do 10 posts about your big toe if you wanted. :-)

Kathy V said...

I know many ifers struggle with the p word on other blogs. I like that you give the heads up but you shouldn't have to apologize for posting your thoughts on your blog. I kind of rejoice when other if sisters make it to the p stage. I would want people to still be supportive of me when I get there so I am supportive of others. I like reading from others what I can expect when I get there, it is so much better to read the real life stories than those books.

As far as telling people, last time I told everybody (church, family, etc) early. When I get pregnant again, I might let family in on the secret early but let them know that we are still being guarded and cautious with how excited we get. As far as others go, I might tell close friends but others at church can find out when my belly starts showing the truth. I hope that helps you in making your decision on when to tell.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I believe that the heartbeat is the most important indicator. That is a very strong heartbeat for a baby measuring at 6w. It is very possible that you implanted late. I think that your doctor would only be cautiously optimistic if he thought there was reason to worry.

I do know, however, how scary it is to have to wait for the next ultrasound. But hopefully you will be surprised by how quickly the baby has grown by that point. I was one day behind at my first u/s (on 6w 0d with a HB of 120) and then at my u/s this week (on 7w4d) I was 2 days ahead (with a HB of 160). They grow so fast in this stage that, at least according to everything I read, the HB is considered to be the most important indicator of the viability of the pregnancy.

Hang in there!!


Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

You've got to tell people when you feel most comfortable. Outside of close family members and a couple of friends, we waited until I was 12-13 weeks to share the news. Granted, if I could've waited until I had had the baby I probably would've felt more comfortable.

Go with your gut. You'll know when the time is right. :)

Beth said...

Hi - thank you for the comment on my blog! We didn't tell anyone (except my parents) until after 11 weeks or so when I was released from the RE and had heard the heartbeat a few times. I was still nervous but really happy to tell people! I had stage 4 endo and we didn't conceive until 4 years into marriage. Hopefully we'll have many more kids though! :)

SaraS-P said...

I have had to "un-tell" scores of people twice (yeah, I guess I am a slow learner), so I am big fan of the not-until-the-second-trimester policy.

As for sushi, there are veggie rolls, smoked salmon and eel and maybe even chicken teryaki depending on the restaurant.

BUT... I am totally jealous of women who have no idea anything could ever go wrong and tell everyone they know and hire a nanny before even getting the first ultrasound. Oh, to just ENJOY a pregnancy!

LifeHopes said...

Hi - I just wanted to know if you have an email address for your blog. I am making my blog "invite only" and I'd like to invite you.

Ann said...

So this comment is a little late, but...don't tell anyone until you feel more comfortable about the pregnancy. Otherwise, you will ruin that "telling people moment." You don't want to have to tell a family member, "I'm pregnant, but I'm worried I might miscarry, so please don't be happy for me yet." They won't know what to do.

Good luck with the FIL!