Definitely Not Sexy

Hubby had an S/A test scheduled for today. The first S/A we did, we were able to collect the "sample" at home and then do the "Forget Paris" drive to the lab to drop it off. Unfortunately, because of many circumstances, we have since learned that we may as well just throw out those first results (and the $120 we paid for them...). This time we went to a specialty lab (an andrology lab) and are working with a urologist who sepcializes in infertility issues. In order to avoid some of the problems that we ran into last time we decided to go into the lab to make the sample deposit.

It's kind of funny how reality is never the same as what you imagine it will be. I am reminded, yet again, that TV and movies are not a good indication of what happens in real life. Last night my biggest worry was the thought of hubby looking at pornography and masturbating. It just didn't feel right, even if the goal was to help us have a baby. He did tell me that he wouldn't look at porn (it didn't feel right to him either). However, he was nervous about going so he asked if I could go with him. Making a deposit in a lab is much different than being in the comfort of your own home.


We were both so nervous and worried that we would be held up in traffic that we arrived at the lab about 30 minutes early. Instead of going to sit inside to feel like idiots for half an hour, we waited in the car for 15 minutes and watched a bird family in the tree in front of us. The daddy bird kept bringing the mom and the babies worms to eat. (Secretly I was hoping this little bird family was symbolic...) Then we decided to go sign in. After 10 minutes we were lead back to "the room."

I don't know what hubby thought the room would be like. I was imagining a small room with a TV and VCR, a rack full of dirty magazines and porno films, a chair, and one of those padded examination tables you find in every doctor's office. And, possibly sexy posters on the wall (I don't know why the posters). When the door opened to the room I couldn't help but laugh. It was the opposite of what I expected, it was bare. There was nothing on the speckled gray wall-papered walls except a small sign that gave instructions for how to deposit the specimen. The floor was a darker linoleum versioin of the walls. There was a sink, a chair, and a small cupboard with a drawer and a lower cabinet. Oh, and there was a small door in the wall in which to deposit the "specimen" when you're finished. Before she left, the lab tech told us there were "magazines" in the cabinet drawer.

I don't know why I imagined a reputable lab would have a room that could be described as anything other than sterile. This room was definitely NOT sexy. I actually felt sorry for the men who had to make a deposit and didn't bring their wives with them.